Aug. 1st, 2016

howling_alice: (vanish)
So I had a really intense dream that I'm gonna copypaste my Facebook summary of here so I never forget it. It was important. I think it was one that took place somewhere in the actual spiritual plane somewhere. I think the girl I met is real somewhere. She's a real person or being of some sort and now I gotta know who she is because I'm fucking in love with her.


I decided to go out for a walk to town or something
and I got lost
and this bus/train thing stopped and I got on for some reason. I think I thought it would take me the rght direction
But for some reason something went wrong and i started panicking
and I asked to use someone's phone to call my mom and everyone was trying to help me all at once and there were all these sounds and I started hand flapping and melting down because I couldnt process it all
and i told them I was autistic and was having a hard time understanding them
and then there was just
a gentle hand on my back
gentle back rubs
and I sat down
and this cute girl who looked like a cross between a few girls I know
just sat down with me and offered to let me use her phone
But what happened instead was we stayed on the bus
And when we got off
she was standing in the doors of another train
holding 2 cardboard signs
I cant remember the exact wording but the first said "Take a risk ❤"
and the second followed it up with something like "live a little"
and so I followed her onto the second train
and I asked if it would take me home, but it was taking us waaayyy further from home up into Pennsylvania
So I sat next to her and put my arm around her like it was the most natural thing
I noticed she had these really cool tattoos
They were blacklight tats
and one covered her entire forearm and was a shimmering pot leaf with these cool designs
and it was hand-poked, not done with a machine
and I said "wow" and showed her my wedding ring and was like "all I have are a few shitty stick n pokes"
and she stopped me
and said "no, they're not shit. You sat there and lovingly endured the pain yourself for that. That's more personal than some machine" and she made a machine buzzing noise "to me."
And so I nodded, and I cuddled her
and she put her arm around me
and I kissed her shoulder without even thinking about it
and she didnt mind at all
We even mentioned we felt like it was fate that brought us together
Her parents were traveling tarot card readers or something and she was going to visit them in PA
so i was going with her, apparently
I was worried that my mom would be pissed, but something about this girl just kept me calm
When we got off the bus, I couldnt find her for a bit, and that's when i started realizing it was a dream and got scared
but she showed up and hugged me and told me it was ok and she was here with mee
and we tried figuring out plans for where I was staying and how she'd take me home
but that's when I started waking up
so I grabbed her
and held her close
and kissed her
and it felt so vivid
I can still feel her lips
and I told her Id see her again and not to forget me.
and woke up
and now I wanna tattoo something on myself in blacklight ink in honor of her


When I woke up, and realized I could still feel her existing...somewhere...I thought she might have been my Husband (Loki) in disguise. But for some reason that doesn't quite feel right. I don't think it was him. But I DO think she's a being that exists somewhere and I need to know who she is and I have to see her again. I can't just. Leave it there. And I AM gonna hand-poke a tattoo on myself somewhere in honor of her. Idk if blacklight ink, or just white ink, at this point, because there's debate over the safety of UV inks. That, and I'd have to order a bottle of the stuff myself, whereas I think my mom's husband already has white ink I could steal.

Gods. Still reeling from that, though.


howling_alice: (Default)

December 2016


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